El's So Vain

He knows that this song is about him and not David Geffen.

El Snacktator, 20th Century Muse: Edgar Leeteg

Taken from Gardner's Art Through the Ages: Few people realize the relevance of El Snacktator in 20th Century Art. El tantalized and teased artists, bringing out their best and their worst.

Today's offering from El's vault is a fabulous piece done by onetime good friend, Ed Leeteg. For those not familiar with Leeteg, he is better known as the Father of Modern Velvet Painting. While Leetag's preferred subject matter was nubile Tahitian woman... he was also known to do quick velvet renderings of dear friends.

The accompanying painting of El was done during El's last visit to Leeteg's, Villa Velour estate. A few drinks and some good conversation led to some studio time. Leeteg died soon after in a motorcycle crash. El is forever grateful he made the visit and that he took the time to sit for his good friend.

Few in the art world are aware of this painting's existence. Those few realize that it is irreplaceable and priceless... the melding of two unique and kitschy beings.

As Leeteg was quoted as saying, "My paintings belong in a gin mill, not a museum. If this modern crap is art, then just call my paintings beautiful. Don't call them art."

Dear Mr. Leeteg. We beg to differ... and so does El.

Funktator

Although Snackhambra is still immersed in rolling drifts of snow, El has been feeling a spring in his step... foreshadowing a day when the snow retreats and El emerges to remind all, who is in charge.

But until then, El is just enjoying getting down with his bad self.

El Zartator

Move over Sean Connery, there's a new Zed in town!

El, lover of bad movies, was fortunate enough to receive a Zed costume for his birthday. El not only appears to be holding his own, El appears to be dominating. If Boorman ever decides to do a Zardoz sequel, it seems only apropos that El be the lead.

Update: El's people have heard from Connery's people. Apparently they feel El is not man enough to sport the singlet. You decide!

El Will Survive

El has been blown off by The Shatner... and on his b-day no less. Yes, today is El's b-day, and while he's basking in luv over at Facebook, he must come here to share his private feelings... He's been blown off by William Shatner.

Apparently William has found other work. It's ok. El realizes he needs to work... unlike El who is financially secure. El understands. But still... on El's b-day Bill?? Couldn't you have broken the news on another day??!?

El wishes you well... El will go one. And El won't hold a grudge... for too long. El might still be open to a holiday special. You know, a duet or something. Call me!

El is back with a vengeance...

Yes, El has been in seclusion... licking his Shatner wounds... wondering if he still has a place in a world that once loved him... but El is back... and why?? Because Little Debbie has gotten her own corporate jet! There would be no Little Debbie if it weren't for El! El paved the way. El even let her use his squiggle... and what does El get? A thank you? A hat tip? No, El gets nada.

Times have been tough. El has had to sell off many things, including his jet... and has Debbie been there to lend a hand? No... she's too busy on her jet... rubbing salt in El's wound.

Oh El's back. El's not taking this one lying down. El's had more of a history than she could dream about. El will get his jet back. El will recapture the world! And... maybe a duet with The Shatner. El hasn't lost his dreams. And, El hasn't forgotten about Little Debbie's early days. El will leave it at that.

El Snacktator in the Sky with William Shatner!

El has been remiss in keeping up with his blog. The people clamored for more El and El has let them down... And why? El has been depressed, down in the dumps, the air let out of his tires... all because of The Shatner's indifference. He don't call, he don't write. El would merely like to do one holiday duet with him. Is that too much to ask? El thinks not. El thinks The Shatner would love the boost to his career that only El Snacktator can bring, but apparently The Shatner is too big for El. El doesn't deny that The Shatner is LARGE...

El will carry on, however, with or without The Shat... He won't like it, but he will.

Oprah? If you're out there... how about one more hook-up before you close up shop? How about having El Snacktator and The Shattator on your show? Hmmmm? Please??