El is mad and he's not going to take it anymore!

Ok, what brought El back? First, he thought his assistant was covering these blogging tasks, but apparently the assistant was AWOL. El will have to fire him should he ever find out where he is.

Next?? El found out this woman has a book deal! She's going to set the record straight! WELL!?! What about EL?? HMMMM??? Most people think El is merely some cute, preservative-laced cupcake that sits on the shelf, waiting for lax mothers to buy for their kids! Surely El has no life! No history! No, not El! El only does what his corporate sponsors say!

WRONG! Has O'Donnell been painted by the 20th Century's greatest artists?? No. Has El?? Hell yeah! El would link, but he's not used to this blogging thing... his assistant usually did it while El dictated from the other room. Scroll down... find the images yourself!

But back to El's point... has Christine run with the bulls along with Hemingway? El thinks not! Ok, El may not have either... there was a lot of liquor that night and El just remembers that Ernie strapped him into some white ensemble and told him to run. El also remembers large piles of bullshit, but El was used to that with Ernie...

El is guessing Chrissie can't touch any of the fabulosity that El has experienced. Sure, she was some head of some tea party thingie, but you know what? El's had tea with the Queen! Suck on that!! Yes, El's done many things Christiney!

Hey lady, you frustrated lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented tea partier causing nothing but fake strife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere they could market me
I took the hand of a Susie Q and we made love in the aisle three
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me in you, I can see the yearning in your eyes
But we don't want you to share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by hungry kings and I've seen some things that a cupcake ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

...sorry... El digresses... El has to find a new assistant... and a book deal.