The other day, El received a letter (yes, a real letter, handwritten even!) reminding him of the fact that he should watch his P's and Q's... he was a role model for children after all!
To this, El thought...
El is a role model? For children? El, the cupcake he was, long ago, was aimed at children, but he's not sure he was ever a role model. If he had been, he would have been convincing them of filling their bodies with preservatives and additives... touting endless freshness. Wait... El thinks there are plenty of adults in Hollywood who must have been children way back when El was new... they must have listened as El sees many people who are filled with preservatives and additives... perhaps they are wishing to be eternal cupcakes...
Nonetheless... El is really not, and never has been, a role model... but if he were to be one, he'd be more of one now... as he went rogue long ago (damn Palin for ruining that term!), dancing to the beat of his very own drummer. No, he said, I will not just be one more mass-produced cupcake! I will be THEE cupcake. I will do my own thang... revel in my uniqueness even in the face of endless copies... even in the face of people telling me I should do otherwise... for the good of the children! Pffft. Come one... if El were really for the good of the children, he'd have been an apple. El may be fun for children, and tasty for everyone, but El, as a commercial product, before becoming the voice of reason, was really only good for the bottom line... and El's not talking about your own, because if you're concerned about your bottom, you won't be eating anything that looks like El.
So, dear letter-writer... while El appreciates the correspondence, and El believes everyone has a right to their own opinion... do not expect this cupcake to be 100% child-friendly, because he's never been 100% child-friendly.
Besides... do we really want to send the message to our children that we eat our role models?? El thinks not.
The Other, Of Course, Involves Orcs
4 weeks ago